*___ShE's LiViN' iN hEr OwN wOrLd_

Sunday, January 30, 2005

I hate to be taken for granted. maybe it's unconscious but that's how i feel. i'm worthless. i shall not be such a nice girl anymore.

I hate it when someone promises me something which he won't do. when i get my expectations high and later on make me feel oh so disappointed in the end. maybe it's not your fault, situation is not under your control. but when you promise me something and didn't fufill it... i'll really be very disappointed... cos i mind... i should really get use to this, since i'm always taken for granted.

I'm sorry i always take my mum for granted.

dara lost in [[fairytale]]-land
10:45 PM

Saturday, January 29, 2005

Hellohello i haven't been blogging for a week. lazy to come online after a boring day of work for one. nothing much to write about after a boring day of work for two. working makes life a routine.

Went fish n co. with my beloved class 13 yesterday.. yummy yumyum haven't eaten such good food for quite a long while. like what laoda said, it's so nice to splurge & indulge ourselves after a tough day at work. not really tough for me lah. you know, boring... i think i'm someone who cannot stand routine life. i think my typing skill has improved, faster & more accurate. thanks to data entry.

My colleagues seem really nice people... my department manager's very cute hees pass me sweets & ask me to take it easy & sleep. cool. my section chief too... once she prepared herbal tea for me... so sweet... they took pity on this miserable lil' girl coughing the whole day with no voice to talk & looked so bored whole day. hope my coughing coughcough stops soon cos i promised someone i won't eat bad stuff for now =)

Mer i'm grateful to you too haha don't forget that! continue tagging haha you are the only regular tagger =P Thanks to everyone who bothered to read my blog... thanks for your interest & care... ^-^ oh and please TAG!

dara lost in [[fairytale]]-land
10:25 PM

Saturday, January 22, 2005

I'm down. jinling is sick. i feel horrible. help.

Was sneezing all the way during SAT today, and my headache was killing me. and i forgot to bring calculator. ha. luckily don't really need calculator. my mental sums are good enough ok. primary school maths... not like i will get all correct. :s

Anyway... i'm really feeling like shit today. went out for lunch with brandon, wearing the xianz attitude... haha.. so sorry... really feeling very sick... thanks brandon for buying panadol for me heehee... so nice.. and thanks for checking my blog regularly for updates, you are the only loyal fan of my blog as far as i know.. ha.. thanks for letting me feel that you are concerned and interested in my life.. very grateful... sobs =)

dara lost in [[fairytale]]-land
9:50 PM

Thursday, January 20, 2005

I noticed this book while running an errand to the kino main store today. It's just a plain child-like looking book with childish scribbles as cover design. trust me to notice that. anyway, it's called ' where is my missing piece' or 'looking for my missing piece' or something like that. :s

ANYWAY. it's more like a picture(scribbles) book, with a few lines of descriptions each page... the chimchim thought-provoking kind. i flipped through a bit... it's about this circle which is incomplete. it has a missing piece. it rolls around looking for it's missing piece. it found pieces that do not fit; either too big or small. it found a fitting piece, and started rolling smoothly, happily... but then it lost that piece... but life goes on... it'll continue rolling happily, continue to look for it's missing piece...

I'm sure that's not the whole story cos i only flipped through briefly... but i already vaguely got the lesson to learn... i hope i find my missing piece soon too... where? or in fact what is it?? only once in my life after secondary school that i found that fitting piece before... haha... i felt that it fitted me, but i guess it didn't feel as fitting as i did... and left a scar... BUT... some other pieces will fill me up again =)

dara lost in [[fairytale]]-land
11:09 PM

Saturday, January 15, 2005

Haven't been blogging for quite a while.. ever since i started working at Kinokuniya.. have been arriving home quite late & tired... tomorrow no work!! yipee...

Hmms, so... job at kino is not bad... learning more things now, hope i can remember everything & not screw up. my colleagues are beginning to discover my blurness & clumsiness... forgetting to punch in out or punching wrongly, confusing my way to the main store, leaving my things behind... opps... hope they won't be too afraid to trust me with more stuff to handle =P feel that i am responsible for too many things already anyway.. ha.. for a $5 job.. so i guess i'm still trusted =D

I feel more peaceful now... wonder how long will this feeling last before i'm back in turmoil again... really wish i could be more indifferent with some things in life... but regarding things that i care about, i just can't tell myself to heck care. if i could 'fang de xia' like what you said, it would mean that i don't care anymore. see, for example if i don't miss my super cute soft toy angel keychain that i lost in china it would mean that i didn't care about it in the first place. haha... to me, that's how it goes... angelangel where are you... but i'm not THAT upset anymore now... hees...

Anyway the above statement is on a case by case basis, doesn't apply to everything. i can 'fang de xia' but still care about some things. i bet no one knows what i'm talking about. nevermind i know. =) u know, but you don't read my blog.

dara lost in [[fairytale]]-land
11:20 PM

Sunday, January 09, 2005

i feel miserable. stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid please stop it stop it stop it stop it can you please stop this??? ah maybe you are thinking the same thing you think i should be the one to stop THIS. i dunno what is THIS.

dara lost in [[fairytale]]-land
1:23 AM

Saturday, January 08, 2005

So i've quit the folding clothes job at Fox. simply because i've gotten another better job. Kinokuniya accepted me! ooh... didn't expect them to reply so quickly, thought would have to work at Fox for at least 2 weeks.. or longer if i don't get the kino job. goody. guess at least it's something to cheer me up... although it's not a great job that pays super well but it's the best job i've come across so far and i'm actually picked!! goody.

So i pray & hope that i'll really like the job... can't deny that i'm scared & nervous that i'll hate it or feel lonely or stressed or bored or tired or cold & i can't quit! haha... oh well but i can do it!! i'll love my job!! hehe...

Just caught sight of the tv... tigercup finals 3 minutes left, so far singapore:3 Indonesia:0. hohoho... *surprised

dara lost in [[fairytale]]-land
10:13 PM

Thursday, January 06, 2005

Just came back from work. Whew. throbbing legs, but it's alright, not the worst that i've experienced. I'm known as a part-time sales associate, but i worked for 8 hours. maybe they're trying to save on the commission since part-timers don't get commission. oh well but anyway i'm not complaining since i can take leave anytime i want & longer hours mean more $$$. quite a busy outlet i must say, and true enough it's all about folding clothes if not it'll look more messy and pasar malam-like than it already does. so inconvenient. they only display pants, jeans & jackets. t-shirts please unfold them yourself and look at the design to see if you like it or not, if not please put somewhere i'll fold it back. even some customers pity us. haha... yeah. but it's ok. at least there's something to do when there are no customers, instead of stoning which i fear most. i'm getting good at folding long sleeve t-shirts!

most guys have gone in army... no more brandon!! no more bra!!! cyall 2 weeks later with no hair haha... botak... nice to roll on the floor...

dara lost in [[fairytale]]-land
11:53 PM

Wednesday, January 05, 2005

Yesterday: ate yummy lunch buffet with family which caused me to be almost 1 hour late for my date with bra & tru. in the end tru didn't turn up so watched kungfu hustle with bra only. 4 become 2. sighs. anyway tru came to meet us later so not so bad after all =) yay i welcome any company anytime...

Today: went for interview at kinokuniya for admin position. duration of interview was kinda long. we chatted a lot and she made sure i was comfortable with the nature of the job. had some others there for interview as well. pick me!! Took up a part-time job at Ngee ann city Fox. guess i just had to do something meanwhile searching for my 'ideal' job. basically this job is all about folding clothes, as what i've seen everytime i passed by. oh well i can fold clothes. no problem.

Brandon tells me i'm a gem i'm a good friend! maybe only to him i am haha... if i'm really a good friend why doesn't someone cherish me as one? i dunno why i'm always so bothered over you. Maybe it's cos i care & you don't & it hurts. maybe sometimes i feel like strangling you. ha! you won't read this blog anyway so i can say anything i want! so there! *gives a childish face.

This is a boring entry.

dara lost in [[fairytale]]-land
11:50 PM

Monday, January 03, 2005

Today's the first day of school... only that i'm not involved.. kinda missed school. saw a group of cedarians walking home just now and i couldn't help but feel envious. life was so innocent back then, my worries only revovle around GRADES & HOMEWORK. i'm so sick of life now i'm sick of myself.

i never knew i could be so weak emotionally. maybe that's another part of my change. i think... i used to be a strong person, scoff at those who were weak. presently i often feel so vulnerable. yet some people just love to stab me again & again. what's wrong with you man, or what's wrong with me. i dunno if it's your problem or is it mine. what's going on :S simplicity is really a blessing. arghhhhh i wanna screeeeeam.....

According to my resolutions i'm supposed to think positively. so the positive thought of the day: after repeatedly throwing tantrums at you, you are still willing to talk to me which is good. or are you really willing? nono you must be willing.

I miss the past i miss the past but some things could never be like before. i used to think that every problem can be solved as long as i try... but i feel that more often than not i'm messing things up. it gets worse than before. i'm desperate. lousy jinling.

dara lost in [[fairytale]]-land
11:48 PM

Sunday, January 02, 2005

Robbie Williams- Something Beautiful

You can't manufacture a miracle
The silence was pitiful that day
A love is getting too cynical
Passion's just cynical these days
You analyse everyone you meet
But get no sign, love ain't kind
Every night you admit defeat
And cry yourself blind

If you can't wake up in the morning
Cos your bed lies vacant at night
If you're lost, hurt, tired or lonely
Can't control it, try as you might
May you find that love won't leave you
May you find it by the end of the day
You won't be lost, hurt, tired or lonely
Something beautiful will come your way

The DJ said on the radio
Life should be stereo, each day
In the past you cast the unsuitable
Instead of some kind of beautiful, you just couldn't wait
All your friends think you're satisfied
But they can't see your soul no no no
Forgot the time feeling petrified
When they lived alone

Some kind of beautiful (will come your way)

All your friends think you're satisfied
But they can't see your soul no no no
Forgot the time feeling petrified
When they lived alone

dara lost in [[fairytale]]-land
10:42 PM

Saturday, January 01, 2005

This is my first entry of the year! happy new year jinling.. happy new year everyone!! =D

Went fish & co. for lunch with kit tru jason & zhenhui yesterday... yummy... i dunno why i suggested fish & co. when i'm very well aware of my wallet's condition. hmms well maybe since it's the last day of the year should give myself a treat.. =) therefore i ended up with only a bun for my last dinner of the year. & a piece of unagi. tasty. After dinner we met weini & watched 'Meet the fockers'. kinda crappy & lame haha... but funny at times... main star of the show to look out for: baby lil' Jack~ hees... cute as a pea.

I've often noticed how people often bitch about what others do which they themselves are guilty of doing as well.. including myself... it's often after bitching, when i think back about it i realize i do those things myself too. so.. next time i shall not bitch so much. cos i feel like the biggest bitch myself sometimes =P

I rarely make new year resolutions cos i thought you could make resolutions anytime why new year only? but anyway since it's the new year i might as well make some:
1) Try to stay happy & positive at all times
2) Learn to be more independent
3) Stop being so lazy
4) Smile more
5) Shake off the bug for life!!

I miss the jinling of the past. dunno when will she come back.

Happy new year again~~ although 2004 wasn't smooth for me, & didn't end off in a good note for the world... we look forward to a brand new year ahead!! hope the sun will always be shining brightly for myself & everyone else =D CheeRs~!

dara lost in [[fairytale]]-land
10:17 PM