Sunday, December 26, 2004
Something brandon said recently triggerd my following thoughts: have i really changed so much over the years? With reference to one of my past entries, i said that chances are, your first boyfriend would not be your last. This was what he said: "i thought you always think that the first boyfriend should be the last?" that's true... if he hadn't mention it i would have forgotten how foolish I had been in the past. REALLY. i replied: " if he's the right person lah." i sound kinda duh right. Me: "it's unrealistic" brandon: " no it's just idealistic". well... at least our objectives & expectations of our relationship has to be the same right...
So that's a change in my viewpoint. in addition, i've started to question whether there really exist 'tian chang di jiu de ai' (forever lasting love). after the initial crush feelings what comes next? is it just the responsibility of the relationship? is it cos you've grown so comfortable with each other that you just want to spend the rest of your lives together? how do you maintain the initial lovey dovey feelings? it's more difficult to sustain a love than to fall in love. hope that someday someone will show me it's possible.. i rarely regret the things that i've done, but often those that i hadn't done. So chim... haha... =P
In summary you can say that i've lost much confidence in love. if someone comes to me saying 'i love you' i'll start to wonder how much does he love, how long will he love, how much he'll cherish the relationship, how will he treat me when his love starts to fade... you must be thinking that i'm thinking too much!! I know... but perhaps i'm just very afraid of being hurt. HOWEVER... i'm still looking forward to hearing 'I love you' again despite. Interested please send in resume hees...
Wah what a long entry already. To be continued tomorrow!
"City sidewalk Busy sidewalk Dressed in holiday style In the air there's a feeling of Christmas..."
dara lost in [[fairytale]]-land
10:46 PM
